JustJane48

In for just a quick minute.  Working on the Thanksgiving dinner, trying to get ahead a bit!!!

I had to come here and say a public thank you for all the support.  I have to thank my dear friend for the phone call.   You are all so Beautiful!!!!

Today is much better.  I had my meltdown, cried my tears and I’m back stronger today then before.  My faith has been totally restored, just had to be angry for a bit.

God didn’t want me to have disability, but he did want me to be healthier again.  My heart has improved drastically.  For God I am thankful for the precious gift of live.  Money or life?????????  LIFE!!!

Love hard…..Smile Always…..Hug alot….and just plain BE HAPPY!!! God gave us this precious life, lets all enjoy it ok??????????  OK!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy healthy holidays to you all

Hello buddys out there in BuddySlim.  Not having  a good week so far, but I do need to first thank you for all the comments on my last blog.  I came home today from a long emotional day with my boys and I read all these comments and I can just feel the love here.  Thank you all sooooooooooooo much for being here for myself, and everyone in need.

Well here goes, my disability was denied :(  I’m just so lost right now.  I realize I will have to hire a lawyer (already have one picked out)  but the problem is it will take up to a year or more for an appeal.  My medical co-pays and prescription costs are way out of control here.  Bills in collections, can’t always fill my prescriptions.  I really needed the help

To top that off, this morning I was up at 6:00 a.m. (which is difficult because of my meds) on the road at 7:00 a.m. to pick up Jon for probation.  8:00 a.m. I pull into his work, pick him up, head back towards my house (45 mins away) and pick up Chris for his probation.  Drive another 45 minutes to probation.  The probation officer asked if I would like to sit in.  We all went in (they felt really odd)  I listened as she questioned the boys, and I knew they were not telling the truth.  She pointed out jail time for each and if they didn’t straighten up this would be the life for them.

Then she asked me “Mom what do you think of all of this”  I was stuck….couldn’t think, wanted to just cry…..and I said ” Well my boys are good kids, I’m sure you here that from every mother, but these guys have a real heart and care about people.  I’m so sad, my heart is broken that they are behaving this way.  I don’t know how to wake them up and change their ways.”

She then talked some more to them about choices.  I taught them choices in life, I was their mother and I raised them pretty much by myself.  Their father was too busy getting high, or drunk or taking pain pills to take the time to help the children or myself. I’m not looking for sympathy or pity but its a fact their choices have to be based on something in their childhood.  Was it seeing their father drunk, high, or maybe the fact he worked 2nd shift and couldn’t take time to enjoy his children.  My children are my life and this has to stop.  Jon is 23, Chris just turned 21 and in trouble with the law.  And not just small things.  It took all I had to not break down right there in her office.  Seems the tears are still coming, and I feel like I am in this dark place.  Finally at 1:50 p.m. I’m home…so thats 7:00 until 1:50 p.m. because of their choices.  Grrrrrr……………..

Now I really know how it feels, I’ve heard people here say they were in a “dark place”  and now I truly know that feeling.

The scary part is I’m questioning my faith.  I realize God has a plan, but is his plan to continuely make me hurt.  I can put this smile on my face, and normally I do no matter what life hands me, but you know what I feel like I’m at the end.  Throw in the towel, wave the white flag, maybe just go to bed for the next few days.

Ok….thank you for letting me vent.  You guys are just the best ever and I couldn’t get along with your friendships.

Hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving filled with blessings and love.

Hugs to you all

Jane

Good Monday Afternoon!!!  Hope your weekend went well.  I’ve read some blogs and I see some good weekend reports, but also some sad reports.

Prayers for all of you who are experiencing pain in your life. Stay strong in your faith, I know you will find your way. 

And a big SHOUT OUT!!! to all of you who are making such progress :)  I’m so proud of all of you.  And its a good time to thank Dr. Marc for giving us such a loving site to come too.  You all are incredible people here, they just don’t get any better than you all

I’ll be right here praying for those who need prayers and praising those who make such awesome progress.   I love you all!!!

Hey Buddys!!! Didn’t know what to use as a title for my blog….Blah Blah Blah, just came into my head after seeing this crazy smiley pic above  LOL!!!

Been trying to catch up on blogs….YIKES, so many things are happening.  So many beautiful woman making tremendous progress!!!  You GO GIRLS!!! 

 I don’t know about others, but its taking 2 or 3 times to comment on others blogs….Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.  I think that is why I am not here as often “sigh”  Does anyone else have this problem, seems to happen each time I come

As far as my weight goes, its up and down.  My new heart doc suggested a stationary bike for exercise.  Guess when you reach a certain weight (for me a HUGE weight) walking the treadmill is harder on the knees and joints.  So I’m praying for disability so I can purchase a bike.  I’m feeling really unsure about the disability, but we’ll see.

Ok buddys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Go out there and love life, love people, love yourself, and Smile Really Big!!!

GOOD MORNING!!!  How is everyones Monday morning going?  Hopefully good and not full of stress.  Hey did you realize Thanksgiving is only 11 days away?????????  Have we all been thinking of adjusting our recipes in a healthy way? 

Any ideas would be great.  I need all the help I can get  LOL!!!  I’ve fallen off the wagon so many times I think I bruised my rear end  LOL!!!!  

I”m pleased to say BuddySlim is letting me comment on blogs once again.  The past few times I could maybe get 1 or 2 comments to post, then the rest I couldn’t.  I became sooooooooooo frustrated, so I’m happy for today it is working fine

Life on this end is good.  Most of the stress is past, at least for now.   I should have an answer for disability this week or next.  Its like sitting on pins and needles waiting.  I’m so afraid of a denial.  I keep praying, but they’ve made the decision (according to my Claims worker) its just a matter of printing it out and sending through the mail.

Have seen too many doctors then one should have to see.  I can’t even remember which is which.  They found a blockage in my  kidney.  KIDNEY????????  never heard of a blockage there, she explained you have arteries throughout your body.  Makes sense, so more testing for that “sigh”

Saw the specialist about a defibulator :(  and I have to take a test tommorrow  to help decide if I need one or maybe I can wait. Right now I’m hoping it can be put off.

And today is my counselor.  Its so  nice to just sit with her, relax and vent.  She is such a kind person, so compassionate.  I’ve learned alot from her and I’m becoming a much stronger person.  Step by Step.

Ok my treasured buddys, I’ll be back soon, Everyone please take care.

As your Heavenly Father, I have placed dreams and visions within your heart.  Do not become discouraged and let go of them.  Your vision is for a specific time. Though it may be delayed, wait patiently for it, for you will not be disappointed.  I will surely bring it to pass in My perfect timing.

I wanted to share some wonderful news with you all, my dear friend in Canada has heart problems similar to mine.  She was actually on a heart transplant list for the last few months.  She called me yesterday and everything has improved so much she no longer needs to be on this list. 

If that isn’t God helping and healing I don’t know what  is.  I’ve prayed for her daily.  Ok, thats it!!! Just had to share Gods blessings with you

A big shout out to all my BuddySlimmers……SHOUT OUT!!! LOL!!!

Life is sooooooo good right now.  After a week of pure craziness….absolute deep down and out stress…emotions, happy & sad, I can finally say life is somewhat on an even keal once again “big sigh”

Just a quick update, Angela and Talan and Brooklyn are doing great. Brooklyn is “officially” smiling now  YIPPEE!!! We’ve pulled out Angelas baby picture at Brooklyns age, and they almost look identical…HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Talan looks like daddy, Brooklyn like mommy…..YEAH!!!

Son Jon, all moved….walks to work each day, its only 1/2 mile away.  He also has friends which work at the same company and he will get a ride occasionally.  We see him at least once a week.  Its wonderful Buddys…he’s happier then a pig in shi@#!!

Chris my youngest has learned some of the toughest lessons in life by age 21.  He’s home temporarily, has had several different job offers already.  I’ll say this for Chris, he is very social, can really hold an intelligent conversation and has many networks of friends.  He is going to be just fine…Thank you God for helping all of my children.

Now…weight…..UUUGGGHHHH…..scale is up and down.   I’m not reallylosing, but I’m not gaining either.  I think now that life has settled down once again I can really focus on myself…at least this is the plan.

Ok..my most favorite buddys ever!!! I’ve missed you…sending Gods blessings, all my love and millions of hugs to all of you!!!

Give your brothers and sisters more honor than you want for yourselves.  Share with God’s people who need help.

                   Romans 12:10, 13

To preserve a friend three things are necessary; to honor him present, praise him absent, and assist him in his necessities.

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Eeeewww, not so pretty huh????????  LOL!! Well thats about how I’m feeling about now…this Monday morning….the weekend after Halloween.  Anyone else have the Halloween Candy Hangover???????????

I know I vowed to be strong and stick to my guns during Trick or Treat.  Little Talan was sharing candy left and right.  When I’d say no, he’d get this little pout on his face and say “Why Gramma”  so I ended up over doing it a bit.

We fell into the old day after trap.  All Halloween Candy 1/2 off…OMG!!! Enough, my belly is so sore, and Today is a New Day my buddys!!! A new start, a new Month.