Ever wonder why?
I know we are not supposed to question our faith and Gods plan in life but I’m having a really rough time today.
My son and daughter in law lost their first child. Amber was only a couple of months along, life was good. They both are handling it so well. I’m the one having a rough time. I couldn’t stop crying, and everytime I think of it I’m in tears. With the blink of an eye everything changed, just like my heart attack a few years ago.
If my mom were alive today she would hug and comfort me then say “Jane things happen for a reason, sometimes we don’t understand, but its all for a reason” Others would say God knew what he was doing??? I’m doing my best to remain faithful..but wow it hurts. And wow I miss my mom so much 
My other buddy here who has gone through the same thing a few weeks ago, I really really can understand your pain now. I’m so sorry.
Ok, now I received a call from the doctors. The blood work taken for possibly more damage to my heart and heart function came back with a 403. Normal is from 0 - 99. That was a scare but they reassured me since my heart is damaged already the number is quite normal for me. I was sad to hear my heart functions at 25-30% Before the last hospital visit it was around 45%. Doesn’t add up?? Was there that much more damage with the last episode? so many questions…..
As far as the blood glucose, they cancelled that test? WHY???? I can’t believe it, I had 2 high blood tests and they decided to cancel? I have to call my primary doctor about that one. I’m tired of having blood drawn “sigh” but I need to know if I’m diabetic or not.
Now the weight gain…staying about the same. Physical therapy for my neck will begin tommorrow..yes yes yes. I’ll be happy to get rid of this pain in my neck..LOL!! literally!!!
Dads foot doctor appt was very discouraging this morning. Last visit he said we’d probably be done in about 2 months. Today he says 3 - 6 months..YIKES…cmon now. Its 50 minutes each way, its winter and the roads tend to be bad here. He wants to see dad every 10 - 14 days. Dad had an open sore on his foot and didn’t say anything. It went to far and he finally told me. Thank God they didn’t have to amputate his foot. Had he waited much longer that probably would have been the outcome. So ok…I’m finding things to be thankful for.
Went to Schullers Books. Kama and Jo, no it isn’t Robert Schuller (whom I love also) but just a beautiful book store here in Grand Rapids. Dad picked up his new 2008 World Almanac, and he bought me a Websters Medical Dictionary which I’ll use once employed.
My classes are going well. Chapter One quiz was 94% Chapter Two quiz 92% Chapter Three is all grammar, punctuation, editing, etc…..reminds me of high school…only sad part is my brain isn’t NEARLY AS SHARP…OMGoodness I’m getting old.
Ok…my healthy choice for dinner will be one slice of Turkey and a big salad. Probably throw a clementine in and a glass of skim milk. Everyone else will have leftovers (consisting of stuffing, mashed potatoes, turkey/gravy)
Now that I’ve babbled endlessly, its time for Alphabet Soup.
Alphabet Soup for the Soul
Letter M Mistakes: You get to make mistakes. Mistakes are a fact of life. Forgive yourself. Ask God to forgive you. Ask others to forgive you. Then move on.
We don’t know why things happen. Be strong for your son and daughter in law. They are hopeful of the future. Try not to let them see you too upset. Things happen, life moves on and we are stronger for the past experiences. I hope everything goes well with your health problems too. Just stay strong through out everything.
First off, GIANT congrats on the As in school! Second, i can’t tell you how sorry i am about your loss. i am not so religious to be able to answer to God’s reasons but it seems that those come with time. for now, grief is totally okay and normal and beautiful. it is sad that they lost the chilg. so many people minimize miscarriage.
as for your heart, i can’t believe it operates on anything other than 150%! you are such a sweetie. give yourself some nice love like we all get!!
I’m so sorry, big hugs to you. Will keep you and your family in my prayers. Congrats on the A’s!
FINALLY! I can reply.
Jane, you’re going through SOOOOOOOO much right now. You just let those flood gates open and weep until your spent. Tears help cleanse the soul.
I’m going to share with you something that I’ve had saved on my computer for awhile. I don’t remember where I got it (I have a bunch of stuff LOL), but this seems to fit the bill at the moment. I hope it helps you as much as it has helped me over the trials in my own life.
Love and HUGE HUGGGGGGGGGGGS sweetie,
Shan
Why, God, Why?
by Jan
Why do bad things happen to some people and why don’t they happen to the others? Why does it seem that life is unbearable to some people while the other is having their life quietly and totally undisturbed by anything? Why is life so UNFAIR?
That was exactly the question I used to ask God for too long a time. Why me, God? Why? It seems that you made my life much more troubled than most — deliberately. Was it my fault?
It made my life dark as hell. But after some time I realized that instead of asking. “Why?” I should ask, “What for?” I should ask, “What is the purpose of what is happening? What are You trying to tell me through this?” It made a difference to me and it will make a difference to you also. You will become able to listen — and God will ultimately explain to you many things that you are not able to understand right now.
It is easy to blame. But try to look at this from another perspective. God has His own plan for every single soul on the earth. And I am sure that He is especially close to ones who suffer, even if it seems like He is the One who is causing the suffering. What is the plan for you? Ask God and He will answer you. But please, please don’t lose the ability to listen. This is my only hope for the future.
We often say that we need to accept other people ‘as they are’. We also need to accept God as He is. Why? Because far too often we accept one thing (usually a pleasant one) from God and fail to accept another, tough one. We make an image of a “pocket God” who is supposed to do what we like — and not do what we don’t like. And after some time of such ‘relationships’ with this so-called God, we find ourselves not able to see Him as a person. Instead we treat Him as if he were a “miracle-stick” (In European folklore you just take the miracle-stick out of your pocket, ask it to do something, and it does it - and then - back to the pocket). But He is not like that. He is a Person — and the Person who is good for us, even though we not always see how this works.
May this thought comfort you, as it has comforted me. God is good — and He has a very special plan for you and me. If we don’t understand it, let’s ask Him and listen. He will answer when the time is right.
So sorry to hear about your loss. We never know why things happen
My dear Jane… I’m so sorry about your loss. I know it’s hard to stay in faith and not question God. It’s times like these that you need to pray and you know he’ll ease your heart. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
We never know why… but we know that we can comfort one another and it’s our strength and hope that it all will make sense at the end.
Jane, it’s a terrible loss and tears are needed to grieve and mourn.
Now I got that you are having a healthy meal for dinner. What about exercising?
Hugs,
Tatiana
Like has been said everything happens for a reason. We don’t always know that reason, but keep the faith. My heart goes out to you.
Congrats on the great grades! Woo Hoo, you are doing so awesome!
Have a good one!