JustJane48

I know we are not supposed to question our faith and Gods plan in life but I’m having a really rough time today.

My son and daughter in law lost their first child.  Amber was only a couple of months along, life was good.  They both are handling it so well.  I’m the one having a rough time.  I couldn’t stop crying, and everytime I think of it I’m in tears.   With the blink of an eye everything changed, just like my heart attack a few years ago.

If my mom were alive today she would hug and comfort me then say “Jane things happen for a reason, sometimes we don’t understand, but its all for a reason”  Others would say God knew what he was doing???  I’m doing my best to remain faithful..but wow it hurts.  And wow I miss my mom so much

My other buddy here who has gone through the same thing a few weeks ago, I really really can understand your pain now.  I’m so sorry.

Ok, now I received a call from the doctors.  The blood work taken for possibly more damage to my heart and heart function came back with a 403.  Normal is from 0 - 99.  That was a scare but they reassured me since my heart is damaged already the number is quite normal for me.  I was sad to hear my heart functions at 25-30%  Before the last hospital visit it was around 45%.  Doesn’t add up??  Was there that much more damage with the last episode?  so many questions…..

As far as the blood glucose, they cancelled that test?  WHY???? I can’t believe it, I had 2 high blood tests and they decided to cancel?  I have to call my primary doctor about that one.  I’m tired of having blood drawn “sigh”  but I need to know if I’m diabetic or not.

Now the weight gain…staying about the same.  Physical therapy for my neck will begin tommorrow..yes yes yes.  I’ll be happy to get rid of this pain in my neck..LOL!! literally!!!

Dads foot doctor appt was very discouraging this morning.  Last visit he said we’d probably be done in about 2 months.  Today he says 3 - 6 months..YIKES…cmon now.  Its 50 minutes each way, its winter and the roads tend to be bad here.  He wants to see dad every 10 - 14 days.  Dad had an open sore on his foot and didn’t say anything.  It went to far and he finally told me.  Thank God they didn’t have to amputate his foot.  Had he waited much longer that probably would have been the outcome.  So ok…I’m finding things to be thankful for.

Went to Schullers Books.  Kama and Jo, no it isn’t Robert Schuller (whom I love also)  but just a beautiful book store here in Grand Rapids.  Dad picked up his new 2008 World Almanac, and he bought me a Websters Medical Dictionary which I’ll  use once employed.

My classes are going well.  Chapter One quiz was 94%  Chapter Two quiz 92%  Chapter Three is all grammar, punctuation, editing, etc…..reminds me of high school…only sad part is my brain isn’t NEARLY AS SHARP…OMGoodness I’m getting old.

Ok…my healthy choice for dinner will be one slice of Turkey and a big salad.  Probably throw a clementine in and a glass of skim milk.  Everyone else will have leftovers (consisting of stuffing, mashed potatoes, turkey/gravy)

Now that I’ve babbled endlessly, its time for Alphabet Soup.

Alphabet Soup for the Soul

Letter M  Mistakes:  You get to make mistakes.  Mistakes are a fact of life.  Forgive yourself.  Ask God to forgive you.  Ask others to forgive you. Then move on.